SRA Reporter
The following contributions are from the experiences of students and staffers that attended Challenge.
I learned a lot from connecting again with my magical child. I really felt more in touch with myself when I looked into her eyes and accepted what a precious, innocent and compassionate person I am at heart. Affirming myself in that moment brightened my spirits. I learned that whenever I’m struggling or having a pretty low energy day, getting in touch with my magical child is an amazing tool to turn around any day. Looking back, I’m realizing and even feeling how safe and comfortable and at peace I felt being with my magical child. I was there for part of the staffing and I got a lot out of the magical child activity.
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The most important thing that I learned while staffing was that getting help doesn’t mean that I am incapable; it simply means that I am comfortable enough with myself to ask for assistance.
I also realized that affection and connection is different than trust. I have been implementing boundaries in each aspect but aspect, but they mean different things to me.
I also realized that affection and connection is different than trust. I have been implementing boundaries in each aspect but aspect, but they mean different things to me.
When searching for my magical child this time, I actually had a deeper connection with her than the previous time around.
Hearing the dot feedback was so meaningful to me. I knew that I had made great steps, but what I hadn’t realized was how great of a positive impact (“giving impact”) on this community. I have greatly changed since Challenge and this has not only greatly assisted me inside, but outside this staffing training as well. I also acknowledge the amount of insight, care and honesty I brought into this training.
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In Challenge, I learned that even though on the outside I look fine, I’m hurting on the inside. I learned that it is okay to show my feelings and I’m not judged when I cry. I learned that I still have that child I once was in me and can bring her back whenever I need to. I learned that I shut myself out from people because I’m worried about being judged. The most difficult thing for me is to hear all this feedback and not know where to begin.
I got a lot out of this training. I learned so much about myself, especially my enmeshment and how my self-limiting beliefs affect the way I think about myself. I also learned that there are many people that give feedback from a caring place. I also learned that I have more work and more practice to do and that I need to keep learning how to love and trust myself.
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As a Staffer, I learned that there is still a lot of control that I have to let go of. I have realized that when a girl has a troublesome past, I feel the need to jump in a rescue her. I have also learned that I care so much about people, and people really do care about me. I was told that I’m the definition of a “true friend” and that I have had an impact on her life. I learned that I can be a good leader. I’ve also realized how much I’ve changed while being at SRA.
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I learned so many things about myself in Challenge. Challenge was well put together and beautifully done. I thought it was well prepared and inspirational.
I came to the realization that I rightly deserve to be forgiven – by myself. I deserve to have the shame lifted off of me and the blame I place on myself o dissolve completely. I am worthy. I am deserving.
I also got an overwhelming feeling of love for myself. Now I know what it truly feels like to love myself and truly mean it. It was uplifting, cleansing and gave me hope.
I connected with my authentic self/magical child. I felt the warmth of really revisiting what it’s like to be my true self. I can now identify myself with the little girl I used to be and embrace the feeling of a clean slate. I feel pure again.
I learned that I have a choice. I have a choice t be happy, sad, angry, frustrated…. EVERYTHING is my choice.
I shouldn’t worry about how others see me. I am incredible without anyone telling me so. I don’t need anyone’s validation. I can supply that to myself. Giving myself affirmations will do a lot for me.
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I learned to
re-love myself.
I learned to
forgive myself.
I learned
that I sabotage myself so that I have a reason for people leaving me and my
life being miserable. It gives me
“control” of the situation, I thought.
It almost comforts me because I know when things will end or people will
leave me.
I learned to
stop taking the things that Vincent did to me personally, because he does it to
all of his girlfriends. If I want him out of my life completely than I cannot
allow what he has done to me to control my thoughts and feelings.
I learned
that I am NOT fat AT ALL.
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What I learned from Challenge is that a lot of people have
masks.
I am able to have good emotional connections with the girls
here.
It is possible to rebound from bad situations.
Trust isn’t about liking someone.
Going outside of your nine dots helps you take risks.
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I self
sabotage. I’m so afraid of the future and change (even if it’s a good change)
that I resort back to old patterns so that the change does not happen.
I run away
from things because I like to take the easy way out and am so afraid to face
problems that come up or that I create, I immediately run to try and protect
myself.
I have a
powerful voice. People want to listen to me when I have something positive and
insightful to say, because they trust my word.
I am an
amazing leader. I can lead great
discussions that have meaning. I set a
good example, and I set the path for people to choose to be open, honest and
themselves.
I am worth it
and I am capable. I can do great things
in my life when I actually put my mind in a positive thinking mode. I am worth it to stay in treatment and have
people support me the whole way through.
I truly want
to be sober. Doing drugs and drinking
can lead to life of sadness, guilt, pain, regret, anger, etc. I want to live a life where I’m not held down
by the limitations of my addictions. I
want to have meaningful relationships that are not based on drugs or alcohol.
I am
strong. Even when I thought I had hit
rock bottom at SRA, a part of me (my functional) kept me going and didn’t let
myself give it all up because I refuse to let something get me down. Well, it did get me down, but I didn’t
totally run away and give in to my old self.
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Challenge was
one of the most powerful, inspirational and liberating workshops I’ve ever
gotten to be a part of. For almost three
years I thought all of my negative feelings and resentments were gone and that
my “grungies” were just a common, healthy way of expressing my emotions. I was so wrong.
Challenge
opened my eyes to realizing how much anger, hurt and fear I still had toward my
family. Bringing all those emotions up
again made me cry so hard that I couldn’t recall the last time I cried like
that. And for once, I was okay with
it. It didn’t make me feel weak. I knew I wasn’t pathetic. I just felt great.
The crying
was like a little drain that washed away so much of the shame and guilt I
carried around with me. It also made me
understand that I was looking for approval and confirmation of who I was. I didn’t need anyone’s opinion to tell me
what kind of person I am. My magical
child told me. It reminded me that a
sweet, care free ad innocent girl was still there. It brought back all the love, happiness and
compassion I felt in my younger years.
Challenge was almost like a refreshing of me. I needed to throw away all my anger, hurt and
resentment to learn to forgive others, but especially myself.
I learned how
to come out of my nine dots and challenge any of my self limiting beliefs that
were holding me back. The entire program
was such a learning experience about life, but also about myself. I never understood my thinking behind many of
the choices I made until this training.
It helped me forgive myself in the sense that all the decisions I chose
to make were normal. Challenge really
began to expose myself and others to the other 90% of my iceberg. I realized my “mask” wasn’t fooling anyone
else but me. I finally feel like I can
begin to express my genuine emotions without feeling like I am being
judged. The program made me feel really
close with my other trainees and that I could finally just show everything I
was feeling. It was truly genuine.
I can’t begin
to thank everyone who was a part of Challenge enough. It really helped me put things into
perspective and I realized how much love for myself and others I still have
inside me. If I could go through the
program every day I would. Thank you for
everything.
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