My Spring Ridge Academy Experience

Disrespect, parties, promiscuity, lies and defiance is what my life consisted of for a year and a half until March 3rd, 2009. Some people ask why and my response is always the same. Underneath my tough girl front, I felt lonely, fear, rage and worthlessness and unfortunately I made the decision to avoid dealing with my pain instead of asking for help. Then, I was given the blessing to change my whole life around in a place where I felt safe, supported and understood. I was thirteen when my parents placed me in a therapeutic boarding school called Spring Ridge Academy in Spring Valley, Arizona. Because of SRA I have learned more about myself than ever before, so despite my struggles, it was a risk I do not regret.

My first few months at Spring Ridge Academy, I was less then cooperative, respectful and motivated. At first, I would not even admit I had a problem. I was stubborn and I cringed at the thought of someone else being “right”. I was convinced I could do things “my way”. When I finally swallowed my pride and quietly accepted that I needed help I still did not understand the seriousness of my lifestyle. I knew that I wanted to be happy again, and at the same time, I was gravely mistaken as to how much work turning your life around actually is. It wasn’t until October of 2009 I sincerely made the decision to change. The second week of October my parents came to see me from California. Because of the stage I was in in the program I was able to spend a weekend off campus with them, which based on results, I was not ready to do. I ended up running away and setting back my progress even further. It is by far, one of the scariest things I have ever experienced. I had no idea where I was, I was afraid of the setting sun and the cold weather, and most importantly I felt, and was more alone than I had ever been before. I had hit rock bottom.

The real beginning of my recovery was also less than pleasant. I was learning the hard way that facing your demons is painful, time consuming and sometimes embarrassing. But, one of the things that kept going when I was sure I was going to give up is a short quote. I would repeat the words over and over in my head, amazed by its simplicity. It goes like this “When you’re going through hell, keep going. Giving up is not going to make hell any more enjoyable.” It was helpful because it gave me two options, neither were ideal, but at least one would save my life.
Gradually I became more confident, happy and accepting. I developed confidence in my looks, personality and beliefs which led to me to feel actual happiness, not just short term satisfaction. I had started accepting who I was. Finally I wasn’t trying to be anyone or anything else because I knew that I was okay just the way I was. I say “started accepting” for two reasons. The first is because I have my off days. I don’t feel confident and self-assured every day and I do not always make that best decisions. The second reason is because my life is not over! I have much more to learn and create for myself and chances are I will need to accept that too.

Hopefully, a therapeutic boarding school won’t need to be in everyone’s paths but it has been in mine and I am proud of it. Spring Ridge Academy was my home for twenty long months and it taught me to be able to embrace the destructive choices I’ve made and learn from them. Now I understand I do not need to be ashamed of the past nor stay stuck in the past and I can thank SRA and my parents for that. Regardless of the struggles and pain I had to face there I would not have done it any other way.

I wrote this essay in my career life class because we had to do an example of college essay that you write to get in. I got an A! I think it is pretty good myself.