Mobile Technology: How connected are we?

We live in an age when we can be more “connected” than ever. Through email, text messages, instant messaging, social networks, online gaming, blogging and mobile technology we have the ability to work from anywhere, stay in contact with anyone and find information on anything. So why is it more and more people are feeling over-whelmed by the pace, expectations and needs of business, family and social life? Is it because as opposed to being more efficient with our time we are simply spreading ourselves even thinner by attempting to work from everywhere, stay in contact with everyone and stay informed on everything?

Online, wireless and mobile technologies have become part of our everyday lives. Our businesses depend on communication technology, family logistics are managed by it and relationships with friends and extended family survive on it. There are wonderful benefits to all of this. However, it can become a 24/7 job just keeping up with what is supposed to simplify our lives, reduce our work load and bring us all closer together. For many of us we are not keeping up. We are losing ground when it comes to creating meaningful and authentic connections with those we love. Part of what is being lost is the quality in our communication, the inflection, facial expressions and the subtle nuances that cannot be expressed through text, email or tweeting. We are getting bits and pieces but rarely the whole package, a meaningful, uninterrupted conversation or experience.

Teenagers are paying the price at alarming high rates. They lack the maturity, judgment, and perspective to manage the constant barrage of information and social demands placed on them. Their need for acceptance is too great to allow them to unplug and relax. As a result they are experiencing sleep loss, poor attention in the classroom and many describe feeling anxiety and pressure to stay in the loop with peers. It also may be disrupting the development of age appropriate problem solving skills, boundaries, social skills and self confidence. In a recent survey on the Spring Ridge Academy campus students admitted to being too embarrassed to use a phone to call their parents for help in an awkward or dangerous situation, they only felt comfortable texting. They discussed times when they texted someone sitting in the same car rather than speaking to them directly or sitting with a friend while each texted other people. Students also disclosed safety concerns including sending and receiving inappropriate or threatening messages communicating with someone they did not know and texting while driving.

The Lost Art of Parenting blog will explore this issue in a series of posts and offer real solutions for realistically using technology, mobile communication and social networking to actually improve our lives and relationships. Parents will gain perspective on teen and preteen concerns surrounding this issue and how to set structure in order to assist their children to have appropriate boundaries. SRA will be a leader in modeling this structure. This blog will serve as a tool to create effective change, authentic connection and assist families in making the best and most meaningful use of their time.

The first step in managing communication technology and social networking in our families is practicing it ourselves, if we do not practice appropriate use of this technology neither will our kids. Here are ten steps you can take to begin modeling healthy choices.

1. Turn off cell phones and mobile devices during meals.
2. Set shutdown times for phones and computers in the evening to begin winding down before going to bed.
3. Do not text while driving!
4. Keep personal conversations private.
5. Don’t be an extreme multi-tasker. Don’t talk in line at the bank or grocery store, don’t text while talking on the phone.
6. Put your phone or mobile device on vibrate or silent when in settings such as, libraries, schools, performances, meetings, movie theaters, places of worship etc.
7. Follow the rules; turn off your phone, mobile device and/or laptop in hospitals or on airplanes when asked to do so.
8. If expecting an urgent call let the people you are with know in advance and excuse yourself when the call comes in.
9. Don’t fall into the email and text trap. Remember a personal conversation can be the best, most effective and efficient way to communicate.
10. Take advantage of car time with your family. Avoid cell phone conversations when you have the opportunity to talk to the person sitting next to you. Important conversations can happen on the way home from work or school. It is also a time to be aware of how your child or family member is feeling, pick up on the nonverbal cues.