As we enter the holiday season it seems fitting to discuss gratitude. What will you give thanks for this year? What has been most meaningful or most gratifying? A common theme at Spring Ridge Academy is the idea that what we are often most grateful for is the growth that has arisen out of a difficult or painful situation. SRA parents seem to experience this frequently. The idea that what was a terrifying experience and gut wrenching decision to send their daughter away, resulted in a profound and life-changing opportunity. The process of being a part of SRA allows many parents to detach from their daughter’s emotions, experiences and success and to engage in their own personal development, offering a new way to experience themselves and life.
One of the questions we are asked most frequently at Spring Ridge is what is your success rate? We answer that question in mostly anecdotal terms. The reality is if you ask the parents of students who have completed SRA they will tell you it has been a huge success, 95% plus. However, what is impossible to explain at the beginning of this process is how the definition of success will change as a family moves through the program. By the time a student is completing (or not completing) most parents no longer solely define success in terms of their daughter’s grades, goals and attitude, but also by the parents’ ability to separate themselves from their daughter’s experience, see her choices as just that, her choices, and not as a reflection of them. Parents acknowledge their own success and progress in setting structure, maintaining boundaries and establishing an identity not based exclusively on being a parent or spouse. What begins as a crisis seems to often transform into a gift.
As always, we at SRA are grateful for the trust that is placed in us, the connection we are able to make with caring and committed parents and families and the opportunity we have share in the process of healing, learning and growth. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, and thank you.
We would like to open this discussion to your thoughts on gratitude. What do you find yourself giving thanks for? Is gratitude a value and practice in your family? If so, how is it practiced? If not how would you like to practice it in your family?
Please feel free to comment and share your experience and wisdom.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
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Great topic. I have posted a response on sraps as well. I will share an abreviated version of that post here. I feel gratitude is such a powerful tool to be used in our families, especially during the recovery process. Often we are holding onto so much resentments that we don't allow our gratitude to shine through. I know in the past, I have felt by showing gratititude, I was giving the people in my life that I felt hurt by, a "free pass". Now I realize that grtitude is something that I do for myself, which radiates to others around me and comes right back to me. Gratitude allows me to stay in the momement and to be truly present with the people I love. When I am practicing gratitude, I am living in the moment, not focused on the past or the future. I can have gratitude ans still ask for what I need in my relationships. That is called self-care (see previous post). This Thanksgiving, we did what felt right for us as a family, putting our needs before others wants and what happened amazed me. Joy replaced fear; laughter replaced drama and unity shined where before there was only seperation. I wish the same to every family out there this holiday season. Please feel free to share what worked for this Thanksgiving or your plans for future holiday celebrations.
ReplyDeletemuch love,
Jennifer Ray