I Want To Do It ALL BY MYSELF!

As the mother of a 2 year old I hear this phrase daily. For my son it is an age appropriate, developmental need to experience autonomy and to discover he is able to solve problems on his own. Unfortunately for adults this desire to solve problems on our own is not always age appropriate, nor does it work in families. Families by definition are systems. Systems require cooperation and communication to function. Operating in isolation can quickly lead to the breakdown of the system. Why is it so difficult to ask for help when we need it the most?

Often it is because we are afraid, embarrassed and ashamed. It seems easier to hide our "faults" and "problems" than to burden others with what we believe we should be able to handle ourselves as parents, professionals and adults. The truth is this belief system simply does not work. It limits and isolates, creates stress and even despair.

Many parents are in this position when they enroll their daughters at Spring Ridge. They feel alone and are grieving the loss of what they had dreamed of for their daughter. Nothing they have tried has worked to stop their daughter's downward spiral. Dealing with these issues is often isolating. The parents of other kids don't understand, extended family members second-guess or appear judgmental and the stress drives many inward.

It is on the heels of these experiences parents arrive at their first SRA workshop, Parent Challenge. Participants are given the space and opportunity to safely share and connect. When that opportunity is acted upon the results can be magical. Participants not only gain insight and build confidence; they create connections, find support and develop what become lifelong friendships. Reaching out for help, while scary, can be a rewarding and even transformative experience. It may not always solve the problem immediately, but it can provide support, connection and hope. Sometimes that is the solution.

Check out what a parent wrote about this process. Adrian Segar has been instrumental in the success of these workshops and in supporting parents. He has a wonderful website, blog and book. Please share your comments on the topic as well!