Puppies and Parenting

For the first time in nine years, I have adopted a new puppy. Once I knew the date of arrival, I immediately jumped into reading books and watching DVDs on how to raise a puppy the “right” way. It all seemed so easy in the research phase.

The day arrived and I became the proud owner of an adorable nine-week-old puppy. As we began our training, I noticed how working with a puppy was really an adventure in proactive parenting. The puppy needed to become a productive, socialized and happy dog, very parallel to the environment and guidance a child needs to become an actualized adult.

From the beginning I realized that I would have to change my life. Tess, my new puppy, required a structure that supported her age-appropriate abilities and developmental requirements. She looked to me to teach her safety, boundaries, socially appropriate behavior, and how to delay gratification.

What quickly evolved was a correlation between when Tess made mistakes (chewing all of the cords on the back of my computer) and when I was distracted. Unfortunately many well-meaning people would not follow my instructions to assist Tess in learning self-regulation. Their need to hold this adorable puppy became more important than setting limits by stopping her from biting or by asking her to sit before being petted.

Included in my research were fascinating experiences and information from Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer. I remember one of Cesar Millan’s most poignant episodes when a dog was removed from its home and placed in Cesar’s facility. Cesar diligently and successfully stopped the dog from attacking other dogs. Interestingly, each time the owner came to visit, the dog again began to attack. Cesar was willing to swap one of his dogs for hers. The owner realized the importance of the change she needed to make and the dog was returned to her home.

At Spring Ridge Academy, we teach parents the importance of structure, consistency, respect, and boundaries in the home environment. Parents are taught the stages of development and how to achieve effective long-term parenting, open lines of communication, and family connection. We find that adolescents who have mastered these stages are better able to exhibit self-regulation, self-trust, delayed gratification, interdependent relationships, and success in the “real world.”

The transfer from a recovery environment back into the home or other transitional environment is similar to my puppy’s move from breeder to my home. The transitional environment needs to have established structure, nurture, boundaries, patience, understanding and information necessary to support a successful outcome. Not a day goes by that a dog is either let go or put into the Humane Society because someone expected the dog to know how to redirect his own unmanageable behaviors. Structure and boundaries save dogs and kids.

Two months later Tess has doubled in size and I have a dog that is learning to adjust to our home life and to socialize well with humans and dogs. We all had to change: Tess, Dudley (my 9-year old dog), and most importantly, me.

Jeannie Courtney